Hey there, I am finally updating my blog again (thanks to my extreme boredom), and since I ran out of ideas of what to post, I'm just gonna sum up what year 2013 has been for me.
I spent three agonizing months waiting for my results and in March I got my SPM result (equivalent to high school diploma I guess?) with 4As (which is pretty low in Asian standards). I then procrastinated for months (now to think of it, I actually worked a while) before getting into college. I started my 2 year and 5 months diploma in culinary arts at Sunway University and met some awesome people (thumbs up to you if you guys are reading this). At first I was overpowered by the amount of stuff they are trying to cram into our skulls (cooking at the first day of practical class), but I adjusted myself as time passed. I've made some friends, and rivalries I suppose, over the three months of routine life. Everything was going a-okay until the night before my birthday, when things got serious.
My parents decided to confront me about my sexuality and asked if I'm gay, and took hella lot of time doing just that. I told them yes, and then there's the usual homosexual versus homophobic battle (which took two hours, ridiculous). They proceeded to try to "talk" me out of it, and throwing all manners of homophobic slurs around, such as "gay isn't normal", "gay is a mental illness", "your mind is sick", the standard package and all. After they realised they are not going anywhere with this, they said that I "torment" them, "disappoint" them, and just so you know, I did not hear a single word expressing love for me, whoever I am.
The incident is then gradually "forgotten" (yeah right), and our lives became normal again, or at least as normal as it was before. Laughter and joy came back (provided no one mentions the elephant in the room). I continued to go to my classes and carried on with my daily lives. December came and so did finals. To tell the truth, I did not study for as long as I ought to, only as long as it was necessary to. Still, I got through the tests without crying outside of the examination room, so I guess I did okay.
A week ago, my parents went to China with their passionate local friend (of North Korean descent in case anyone was curious) to look at ice sculptures and buy cheap (and possibly third-rated) stuff. Not having any interest, I stayed at home with my maid (yes, a maid, we still have that in Malaysia, but my parents and I treat her like family). One day I was just staring into nothingness, then out of nowhere I asked myself: what am I doing with my life?
After some thought, I realise, yes I do love food and I do love to cook, even as a job, but I have a bigger dream, a dream to be part of the world's performing arts crew. No I never danced and I only acted once in my life, but then I always felt something was missing from my life, even after studying for culinary arts, something I thought I love the most. Occasionally I will be told off for being "dramatic" and "unnecessarily extrovert", but sometimes people say I seal my lips and not say anything. I gave a lot of thought into this, and now I am still giving thought into it. I hope to come up with a decision before the clock strikes at midnight on the first of January.
Well that was probably the longest post (and the most personal) I have made on my blog. This blog is where I vent and speak out my thought freely, for people normally don't listen to me, with opinions such as "philosopher", "poetic" and "deep". I write this blog because I want to show people I am like everyone else, though I might be more lengthy and fanciful with my speech. Good day to you, peace out.
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